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Words and phrases so overused, they should land you in Word Jail.

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In a Family Guy episode a few years ago, Stewie manages to take over the world.  One of his first acts as world leader is to send people to Word Camp for using words like “irregardless” and “a whole nuther.”  And if I lived in his world, I would have applied to be Word Camp Warden.  There are some words and phrases that need to be taken out back and shot (not that phrase of course, it’s fantastic).

MSNBC.com has a timely article about the catch phrases that are too often tossed around in the professional realm and really ought to call 2009 their last year of existence.

You can read the full article here, which includes examples of the phrase being used in case you have no idea what the hell they …

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Fun with job rejection letters, Mad Libs-style.

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Remember the amazing word game Mad Libs?  I probably spent well over 15,000 hours of my childhood laughing until I cried because of that wonderful word pad.  And now that we’re all grown up, I’m sure we’ve all gotten a form letter or 200 in response to a job application that we submitted with any given company.  You know the kind- impersonal, vague, and generally unnerving.  It thanks you for your interest (as though you were paying the company a compliment by applying for their job) and tells you- don’t call us, we’ll call you.  Well now it’s time to apply the fun we had with Mad Libs to the seriously not-fun task of reading form letters.

Form letter: Your background is impressive and matches our qualifications. I will forward your resume to the hiring …

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Learn to job search from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

If you ever wanted to know how to hilariously ruin your job search, watch this clip.  Ed Helms, aka Andy Bernard on “The Office” goes through the whole job search process for this Daily Show piece.

Here are some of his best tips:

- For the color of your resume paper, always choose fireball fuchsia (it’s the “hottest” pink).

- Go one step further and match your suit’s color to your resume paper.  It’s that extra detail that’ll give you an edge in a job interview.

- Let employers know about your personal hobbies like ceramic shoe collecting or pornographic embroidery.

- Your top skill should be “not taking less than $25,000 a year, period.”

- Searching for your dream job online is a waste of time.  There are never results for “bikini inspector.”…

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95-y-o bartender retires after 70 years. BONUS: bartending on your resume.

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Kids, tell your parents- you really can make a career out of bartending. Just ask Angelo Cammarata, a 95-year-old bartender who poured his first beer moments after prohibition was lifted in 1933 and hasn’t stopped since, save for a 30 month deployment during World War II.

According to MSNBC.com and the Associated Press, Cammarata has bartended for Cammarata’s Cafe, “acting as a kind of psychologist, if not priest, for his customers for more than 70 years.”  “Guinness World Records dubbed him the longest-serving bartender a decade ago, and he’s earned induction into Jim Beam’s Bartender Hall of Fame and numerous other honors.”  And at 95 years young, Cammarata is retiring.  Cheers to a long and prosperous career!

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If you are a bartender or you wait tables, here are some …

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Listology: 9 easy things to do this weekend to help your career

I know, I know… it’s the weekend and who in their right mind would use such precious down time to focus on something so serious as their job search, or current career situation?  But if you’re in a job you don’t like, or don’t have a job but want one, or you need an internship for the fall, or for a whole host of reasons, this weekend might require a little work.  Here are some things you can do quickly and easily to make yourself feel productive without taking way too much time from the beach.

Update your resume. Every resume needs updating, so why not go through a few edits this weekend?  Or better yet, send it to a few people and make them do the work for you!  Having other people look at your resume is a MUST …

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jobology is #7 on list of 100 Best Blogs for Your Job Search!

I don’t like to brag but this is too cool to let slip by.  jobology has made the list of 100 Best Blogs for Your Job Search from JobProfiles.org!  Obviously the list is broken up into different categories depending on the focus of the blog, so #7 isn’t really like WOW #7, but I still like saying it.  And as far as I know, this is the first list of any “best” anythings that we’ve been included on, so hooray!

Congrats to all the other blogs who made the list, I have read many, if not most, of you and you are all excellent resources!  Here’s a sample of the list.  You can view all 100 right over here.

General Job Blogs

These blogs address a number of job-related issues, including improving your resume, networking and finding a …

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Musical video resumes: Hilarious… and effective?

I’m not normally one for these new-fangled video resumes, mainly because most of them are scarily dull and turn the star of the video (aka- the job seeker) into a creepier, sepia-toned version of themselves.  But this one, posted on YouTube by albiedrzycki, is actually creative, funny, informative, and entertaining.  So if you’re going to make a video resume, make one like this:

Not like this:

(Here’s Ray’s description of his video resume: “This is my idea of how to get a job to come to me. I’m tired of looking online, sending out resumes and dealing with angry HR People. They’ll come to me.”)  God, let’s hope this is a joke.  At least it’s short….

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Tune Up Tuesday: How to make contact with someone who can help you land a job

Until very recently, I was a career advisor at a small college in Boston.  I’m still working in the same field, but in a different capacity.  Since I left my position one month ago, I’ve gotten 2 requests for help from students applying to jobs.  There was the really bad one- “I don’t know who else to ask, will you help me?” and then there’s the really good one below, that should give you a great idea of how to ask for professional assistance from someone who can help you get a job.

Before that, let’s go over why the first request was so bad:  “I don’t know who else to ask, will you help me?”  Thanks for…

1) sounding super desperate, scared, and generally unable to act like a professional…

2) making me feel like a contact of last resort.  Where …

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Memo Monday: As economy turns around, expect more job losses

We’ve heard a crap load about the economic recovery plan and the progress that is supposedly being made.  People are feeling more optimistic, according to a number of polls, and some leading economic indicators suggest that the economy is truly turning around for the better.  And job losses are declining (double negatives prove positive, right?  So when losses decline, gains go up?  Not so fast…).

One thing’s missing and the Washington Post has picked up on it: New Jobs.  According to the Post’s article today, “Despite signs that the recession gripping the nation’s economy may be easing, the unemployment rate is projected to continue rising for another year before topping out in double digits…”  And President Obama has even admitted that unemployment is likely to peak at over 10% before things …

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Listology: 7 articles on why keywords matter in your job search.

As this jobologist has mentioned a few times before, keywords are a super important part of your job search.  CNN.com and CareerBuilder have a great article out today on the importance of using keywords in your job search.

Here is a snippet:

The right words make all the difference in life. Try asking “Wanna get hitched?” instead of “Will you marry me?” for proof. Even in a job interview, you wouldn’t say, “Hey, dude.” You’d probably say, “Nice to meet you.” And your résumé wouldn’t include slang, either. You know all this. At least, I hope you do.

But the need for well-chosen words starts when you search job postings. From the job title to the list of requirements, knowing how to tweak your words to yield the best results is vital to getting your job hunt started off right.

Here are a few …

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