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Do you hate e-mail forwards as much as I do?  Anytime I get an e-mail with “FW:” in the subject line, I cringe.  What sort of sappy, inspiring, birds-tweeting, leprechaun jigging, attributed-to-Gandhi-but-really-from-a-random-guy-named-Lenny crud am I about to look at?  Well, this particular e-mail forward actually made me happy to receive it. 

From my friend Bernie and Bernie’s mom, I present to you, Office Lunch Notes.  I don’t know about you, but these reminded me of the awful notes left around dorm rooms from roommates who clearly wanted to punch each other in the face for leaving bowls of leftover Easy Mac on top of the mini fridge.

…

Pop singer Katy Perry sure knows how to get a job.  She told MTV News that “The ‘American Idol’ experience was awesome. If I was offered that job as a permanent host, I would ditch my career and take on that career.”

She then added, intelligently, “It’s kind of like judging a talent show.”

Really, Katy Perry?  American Idol is kind of like a talent show?  Way to show those producers that you understand their product and would be totally capable if they wanted to offer you a full time gig.

So kids, let’s all learn from Katy Perry- the best way to get a job is to throw yourself at employers and dazzle them by thoughtfully describing their product as kind of like itself.  Also, wearing glasses makes you look smart.

(picture credit: mirror.co.uk)

jobology Christmas Spectacular!
I think it’s safe to call this a tradition, considering I did the same thing last year, and I’ve been very excited for this day to come again.  Without further ado, I present to you, a jobology Christmas Spectacular!  Crazy holiday decorations found in typically boring, blah-colored, cubicle-lined office buildings:

A Christmas tree on an office chair.  Not a bad start… (from FinkAngel.blogspot)

A Charlie Brown Christmas (fantastically decorated by the folks at The Angry Dome).  Check out their site for a full account of their phenomenal Christmas decor.

Winter Wonderland indoors.  Is inhaling that stuff all day healthy? (from Santo’s Web Page)

It’s like …

Working during the holidays is tough.  There are so many more interesting things to focus on besides doing your job- twinkling lights, Christmas carols on every other radio station, wrapping paper, tinsel, and lots of other shiny distractions.  Here’s jobology’s guide to taking this to the ultimate level: How to deck out your computer for Christmas.

1. Get a merry sound file. Change up your sound settings so that every time you get a work email, your computer jingles or “ho ho ho”s .  It’s way more fun that the annoying alert you’ve got now.  Although, if you hate work, this may have the opposite effect of actually making you cringe at the sound of jingle bells.  Here’s a sound file that I particularly like for e-mail alerts, it’s number 6 on this list.

2. Find a holiday screensaver. …

From Open Forum and Guy Kawasaki, a hilariously accurate article that predicts what type of employee you will be based on how you cross the street.  Thanks to SMMR for the tip!  And check out the original article here.  If I had to pick one, I’d see myself as a Wader, definitely NOT a Curb Hugger, but sometimes a light jumper.  What kind of employee/cross-walker are you?
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Here are five types of cross-walkers and how they would perform in the workplace:

Matador. Fearless, the Matador thinks nothing of daring the cars and taxis with his elegant dance through traffic. Crosswalks are just paint to a Matador. Red lights are mere suggestions. Nor does the Matador care whether the oncoming traffic shows …

Happy almost Halloween, everyone!  It’s the most terrific time of the year… And with, I present to you jobology’s List of jobs that will surely get your killed, or at least terrorized, if you find yourself in a scary movie.

1. BABYSITTER. Clearly the most vulnerable of all scary movie jobs.  Remember the eponymous Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis?  In the first seen, childhood Michael slays his babysitter on Halloween night because she was more into her boyfriend than him.  15 years later, he comes back to off his sister Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis), while she’s babysitting, on Halloween night of course.  Other scary movies featuring babysitters: When a Stranger Calls (the call is coming from inside the house), Amittyville Horror (babysitter gets locked in closet by cutsie kid who’s trying to kill her), …

If you’re among the one third of U.S. employees who take sick time without actually being sick, you’re in luck.  Fewer employers are checking up on employee’s who claim to be sick.  According to the MSNBC.com article, over the past few years, these nosy employers have been declining in number, from 35% in 2007 to 29% this year.  Over the same time period, the number of workers who call in sick when they’re perfectly healthy has held steady at one third.

Some employees use sick days as mental health days if their employers don’t provide those separately.  Other reasons for faking sick include “doctor’s appointments, a need to relax, catching up on sleep, errands, avoiding a work-related event, housework and spending time with family and friends. Childcare was not listed as an option in the survey.”

The number of employers …

If you’re dared to do something, do you make the dare-giver proclaim a double dog dare before you even consider it?  Or do you jump at the chance as soon as you hear “I dare you!”?  If you find yourself identifying with the latter, you, my friend, could be a stunt person.

How does one become a stunt person?  Go to stunt school of course.  Seriously, the International Stunt School exists for just such a purpose.  According to an article by MSNBC.com, while there is no formalized, accredited route to being training as a stunt person, schools like this one have sprung up to fill a growing interest, and probably to make a few bucks doing it.

“The International Stunt School’s three-week beginner’s course covers a wide variety of skills, including driving, fighting, falling from …

Every now and then, the Today Show throws something interesting in there.  Today they did a piece on “Stiletto Stoners” – working women who prefer to curl up at night in their jammies and slippers, cuddle with their beloved tabby Mr. Whiskers, and smoke a fat one.  Or, as the uber-professional Matt Lauer put it, “educated, career minded women who regularly smoke marijuana.”  My favorite part is about 1 minute, 30 seconds in- the music track to Jay Z’s “99 Problems” starts playing in the background as one of the smokers talks about how she prefers it to having a glass of wine after work, and then Lauer compares smoking pot to taking a bubble bath.  Ahhhhhhh, mood music.

And because their embed code doesn’t work, you’ll have to visit this site …

Kids, tell your parents- you really can make a career out of bartending. Just ask Angelo Cammarata, a 95-year-old bartender who poured his first beer moments after prohibition was lifted in 1933 and hasn’t stopped since, save for a 30 month deployment during World War II.

According to MSNBC.com and the Associated Press, Cammarata has bartended for Cammarata’s Cafe, “acting as a kind of psychologist, if not priest, for his customers for more than 70 years.”  “Guinness World Records dubbed him the longest-serving bartender a decade ago, and he’s earned induction into Jim Beam’s Bartender Hall of Fame and numerous other honors.”  And at 95 years young, Cammarata is retiring.  Cheers to a long and prosperous career!

If you are a bartender or you wait tables, here are some …

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